Your self-worth is not dependent on anything outside of you. Here’s what I mean. Be mindful of people who put conditions on your relationship with them. (At another time I’ll explain WHY they do this and it isn’t about you. If you’ve read my book, “BEing Spiritually Intelligent”, you already know.) Here are some examples of how people put conditions on themselves based on outside sources:
– The need to feel good about yourself only when you have someone else’s or a group of people’s approval, attention or praise.
– Self-esteem is only elevated when you feel you are part of the ‘crowd’ or accepted by the ‘team’ often going to great lengths to do or say anything for a pat on the back. TIP: A heart-based team doesn’t put conditional expectations on its members – obvious or subtle. Example: “I’ll only accept you as part of the team if you meet criteria that makes me feel better about myself or what I’m doing.” If this is the case, this is not the right group for you.
– Feeling less than or left out if you don’t have a significant other, pet, children, etc.
– Feeling that ‘if you only had’ that job, shiny job title or a specific square footage in your home, an X brand car, met a specific goal, in a specific tax bracket, and on and on and on.
This is all drama-like stuff we make up that puts conditions on ourselves, which is why we continually look outside of ourselves for acceptance and acknowledgment that we are ‘okay’ or loveable, etc. It’s an illusion – a power(less) loop that will not stop until we start understanding that NONE of it matters, and it’s all a lie that we tell ourselves or someone is wanting us to believe.
Stop the insanity and self-abuse. Help yourself. BE respectful of yourself by valuing your strengths, noticing without judgment your weaknesses and strengthening your weakness IF it suits YOU. There is no rush to do it. Life was not created to hurry up and get to the destination – death. It was created to enjoy the process of life.
Truly, you have everything you need right now, all you have to do is choose to recognize it and use it. It’s okay to go out and collect data from others – that’s how we learn to strengthen our own intuition. But do not idolize anyone. Bring the data back and try it on for size – for you. Keep what works for your own core values, morals and ethics. Discard the rest, because it does not fit the reality YOU choose to live in. That’s key to developing your self worth and intuition.
You don’t have to look for self worth. You already have it. Every single person on this planet has value, and no one is more valuable than another. Placing a hierarchy of value on people or a group of people IS the self worth issue. If you know you have value, you don’t have to remind people that you do. There is no “good, better, best, or best-est”. It’s something that (wo)man made up to temporarily feel good about him/herself over and over and over again. Once you know you have value, you don’t have to continue to prove it yourself and everyone else. So in essence, what you think to be true about self worth is exactly the opposite.
